We have seen how we can start the day with the intention of the day’s mindfulness practice. In this exercise, we will look at formal training that you can do to bring in non-judgemental compassion towards yourself. To explain compassion, the empathy you feel for a being. For example., if the postman is thirsty, you immediately bring him water because you “feel” the pain of his thirst, acknowledge it and are kind to him. Now, we will bring in the same compassionate feeling towards yourself in the form of a formal practice. For this practice, please write down negative thoughts about yourself.
It can be something like, “I am tired all the time. Something is wrong with me. It’s my fault that I cannot sleep and get a routine”. Write it down and close your eyes when contemplating if this has evidence. Write down ONE argument which proves this thought wrong. Secondly, try to reframe why you should NOT be blaming yourself. Change the words that you use for yourself to be kind and empathetic.
You can take a few deep breaths with your eyes closed and visualise yourself.
Now, remember those negative thoughts of self-blame that you had. Tell yourself that how you feel is validated and that you forgive yourself for any mistakes. As you are visualising yourself, say a few kind words which are compassionate towards yourself. Repeat this a few times so that you will start to believe these words. It may be strange as you might be used to blaming and punishing yourself. Remind yourself that you are not to blame for any issues, including the sleeplessness, and that your feelings are entirely validated. Think of ONE thing you will do for yourself to make you feel loved and compassionate. This can be buying a meal or a favourite outfit for yourself. You can also treat yourself to some “me” time by relaxing in your favourite café or restaurant and having coffee or snacks.
Alternatively, you can take some time to do your favourite activity, such as finding a relaxing spot to listen to music, a good book that you can relax with or spend time with friends. If, when you are compassionate to yourself, you start having guilty thoughts or negative thoughts, take a few moments to close your eyes and remind yourself of one positive quality about yourself. Think of yourself as your clone whom you love and say a few kind words to. Tell yourself that nothing needs to be done. Nothing needs to be achieved. You need to experience every day at its own pace and quality. Your thoughts are judgements. Whenever you feel these judgments, think about what they do to your body and emotions. Where do you feel it? Can you now let these judgements go? Just breathe them away, tell yourself you are unconditionally loved, and feel compassionate about yourself. Now, note how you feel with this non-judgmental, compassionate frame of mind. What difference does it make to the emotions and body sensations? Revel in that state for some time. Your daytime mindfulness exercises will go a long way in acting as a treatment for insomnia.
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