In this blog, we practice the second aspect of self-compassion, known as common humanity. When we talk of common humanity, we accept our failures as a human without beating ourselves up or looking at struggles as personal failures. Understanding and accepting that all are human, including yourselves, is acceptable to make mistakes! If you don’t succeed at first, it just. It means you are human. It doesn’t mean that you are a human. You can do a couple of exercises to foster common humanity and forgiveness towards yourself.
The first task is to write a letter to yourself. The letter can acknowledge your past mistakes and explain how you went wrong or did something you regretted later. It should also outline how you feel about yourself. Do you think harshly and are upset about yourself? In the following few paragraphs, outline how you can forgive yourself. Think about the circumstances under which you made certain decisions or how other factors were responsible for the errors you might have made.
Now, tell yourself that you are no longer angry or guilty about this or about yourself. You forgive yourself completely. You tell yourself, “You are free from the clutches of anger and guilt”; “You are set free”. Every single day, visualise yourself and tell yourself that you are human. You have every right, and it is natural for you to err. To err is human. You learn to forgive yourself and learn healthily from past mistakes. When you criticise yourself, stop and replace this with affirmations indicating a forgiving humanity towards yourself.
You can do a small mindfulness practice every day. The idea is to appreciate that everyone is human, similar to each other and has their pains, experiences, and sorrows.
Close your eyes and take a few rounds of deep breaths. You can sit if comfortable, but it is acceptable to lie down, too. Now close your eyes and bring a person you are in conflict with to your mind. Note the immediate reactions in your mind and how your thoughts and emotions change. Now, recognise that this person and empathise with the experiences this person might have had. Empathise with the pain, the hurt, the difficulties they might have navigated. They are human as much as you. They act out of their pain, hurt and experiences. Acknowledge this. They deserve joy, peace and acceptance as much as you do. Acknowledge and accept the imperfections and send a message: “Let them be well; Let them be happy; Let them be in peace”.
As the days go by, acceptance of their imperfections become natural. Next, conjure up your image too. You might have berated yourself for many of your faults, inadequacies and mistakes. Accept and acknowledge that you, too, have come with experiences of your own, pain and hurt. Send a message of love and forgiveness to yourself. You cannot despise yourself and love others. The same is true in reverse, too. Accepting yourself and others as humans with experiences and faults is a step to self-compassion.
In Chennai Minds we offer exclusive treatment for Insomnia and have developed packages which incorporates diet, psychoeducation, CBT, yoga and mindfulness. Chennai minds , the Best Psychiatrist in Chennai now also offering Telepsychiatry including Online Counselling for OCD and Depression as well.
